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[header] How to deal with a defiant child [title] Set reasonable behavioral expectations. [step] You should set expectations for your child's behavior that are both consistent and clearly communicated. However, when you develop these expectations, consider your child's behavioral skills and abilities at their age.

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  1. [substeps] For example, your child might be surprisingly independent and smart. A child with unrealistic expectations for kids with low levels of social skills might not have the capacity to thrive very well because of their poor self-esteem.
  2. This can help you better identify if your child is confident in driving the car and following reasonable expectations of drivers and adults on the road. [substeps] For example, if your child respects car safety and acts aggressively around street vendors, you should include expectations about how they can comply with the rules.
  3. This can help you to avoid having to put your child in a class where they will have to step into their own shoes. [substeps] For example, set realistic expectations about your child's independence, ability to live by themselves, and ability to handle at least two children in a single year.
  4. For example, it may not be reasonable to ask your 8-year old to stay seated and quiet for several hours at a time. If you impose expectations for maturity that are beyond the child's capacity, you set your rules up for failure.

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